Who Cares About Facebook Updates? I do

Maybe I'm self loathing, but I cannot possibly imagine that anyone would want to see what I was up to as much as some think I want to know what they are doing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy some mildly entertaining musings from my facebook "friends", but there is an appearing trend wherein five or so people who I could not care less about dominate my feed. The ultimate contradition and hypocrisy is that I care. For some reason or the other, a handful of obscure references in my past have a way of keeping me occupied for an inordinate amount of time. I secretly enjoy seeing which south park character they are, or what color they are. I find perverse pleasure in reading the inane music lyrics they put up to illustrate their absolutely trivial (in relation to me) existence. My question is; is anyone else like this? They must be right, or why else would this feature even exist? I cannot stress enough how little it would affect my life if these people were dissappear altogether(oh boo hoo I'm not compassionate... obviously I would feel for them and their families, just trying to say that at this point we are essentially strangers). Still, I find myself absorbing their meaningless output into the cyber world. And I hate myself for it - Do you?